Trigger warning: Description of treatment of emetophobia by exposure and response prevention therapy, descriptions of times I have seen vomit. There are no images of vomit in this post.

Emetophobia is the fear of throwing up. I have that! Until some time in my late 20s, I didn’t quite realize I felt differently about throwing up than most people. I remember a friend mentioning they had emetophobia and having to look up what that was. How surprising to find people who feel the same way about throwing up as me and do all the same stuff I do to avoid it at all costs. It was a few more years after learning emetophobia was “a thing” that I heard first hand accounts from friends that, yes, you can go to therapy to treat it.

I love pumpkin pie! I baked one today, why wait until Thanksgiving? I wanted to share the recipe I use, my process for par baking pie crust, and of course a bunch of pictures (and jiggly pumpkin pie doneness-checking gifs). I’ve been in a years long war with flour, butter, and water, trying to figure out how to get a nice pie crust with a pumpkin pie. I do this thing where every year, I have to try to remember any changes I made to the steps I follow to par bake a pie crust from the previous year, because I didn’t write anything down. I figure if I take the time to write this out, it’ll be easier for me to keep track of. Scroll to the end if you just want to see the pictures. If you have secret tips for pie crust, please share!

It wasn’t until the past few years that I started using moisturizer consistently. For years, I’ve seen Taylor do her multi-step skincare routine, and have recently decided to start a routine of my own. It’s been really nice to have a nighttime routine to relax and wind down before bed. Having these various products that I enjoy using makes the routine something I’m looking forward to.

In my post about self care, I talked a little bit about my routine and some of the products I use. There was some interest in hearing more details, so here it is! Disclaimer that I’m not very well versed in the different types of products available and how effective they are, but Taylor is, and she has guided me in picking out most of these things. The main thing I’m looking for is something that smells good and/or makes my skin feel soft.

This time of year, the sun sits lower in the sky. The morning light projects through southern windows onto furry sleeping geometers for the first time since last spring. The midday breeze carries a whisper that this evening may be cooler than the last. Dusk steadily marches toward the end of my work day. Day by day, there are only subtle indications of autumn; nature doesn’t change as suddenly as the turn of a calendar page. Nevertheless, October is upon us, and I need something apart from nature’s gradual pace to truly feel the season.

My favorite subject in school was always math. I wasn’t much into literature for most of my time in school. I would often read the SparkNotes instead of assigned reading or just wing it through tests so I had more time to play Guild Wars. As I continue to get older, my appreciation for things that aren’t math is growing and I find that I actually want to read these books that were assigned to me in school.

It’s Wednesday, September 23rd and Survivor is BACK!

I started watching Survivor in May of 2020 and it quickly became my “retreat inward to escape the realities of the pandemic” show. I watched all 40 seasons over the following few months, with Taylor starting shortly after. We were both caught up and ready to start watching live when season 41 started in September of 2021. Since then, I can count on one hand the number of episodes we haven’t been able to watch when they aired. We’ve watched in hotel rooms while traveling and we’ve synced up and watched together when we’re in different parts of the country. And we’ve been doing this for 10 seasons now! It takes a lot for us to miss an episode live.

In my post about self care, one of the things I wrote about was how I’ve been exercising five times a week for the past few months. I was starting to feel like my transformation into “a person who exercises five times a week” was complete. Then, last week, it was over 100 degrees out and I decided to skip a day of exercising. The next day was a scheduled off day. The day after that, I found myself thinking “what if I take one more day off?”

We’ve been eating a lot of pasta lately. For some reason, it took me quite a long time to realize pasta could be an easy dinner. I don’t need to bust out the KitchenAid with the pasta roller attachment and make pasta from scratch, I can just use dried noodles. I don’t need to buy raw pine nuts, toast them, grind them in my mortar and pestle with basil and parmesan (or however you make pesto), I can just use pesto from the store. Sure, I’ll still make these things from scratch from time to time, but that’s not necessary to “eat a meal”.

Over the past year, I’ve been making an effort to improve my mental and physical wellbeing. This began with me starting therapy in July of 2025. I’ve found that the progress I’m making in therapy to better my mental wellbeing is also making it easier to take care of the rest of me.

Mental Health

I started therapy at the beginning of July last year and I’m seeing a lot of progress so far. Taylor recently told me it seemed like I’m in “AP Therapy” or that I’m “speedrunning therapy”. It felt nice for my progress to be perceived like that.

Excerpt from Moby-Dick; or, The Whale

Chapter 58 - Brit

Consider the subtleness of the sea; how its most dreaded creatures glide under water, unapparent for the most part, and treacherously hidden beneath the loveliest tints of azure. Consider also the devilish brilliance and beauty of many of its most remorseless tribes, as the dainty embellished shape of many species of sharks. Consider, once more, the universal cannibalism of the sea; all whose creatures prey upon each other, carrying on eternal war since the world began.